But how do we fix it?
Let’s take a look. You can only go for so many years
dealing with boring jobs, inadequate finances, unsupported relationships, and
destructive health habits.
Eventually those things will begin to erode your Self-Confidence.
Seriously now... isn't it much better to admit that we need to handle our Self-Confidence issues as opposed to denying we have them? Lots of people succumb to denial. They act like they're growing, evolving and successful, when in reality nothing is significantly changing for them. So how can you determine if you can use some help in building your Self-Confidence? There is a simple formula that will measure your current Level of Self-Confidence with 100% accuracy.
The first step is to look at your life and see if there is any evidence that you're significantly better off now vs. 90 days ago. What amazing results have you accomplished during that time? The second step is to give each result a number from 1-10. 1 would be nothing has changed, and 10 would be significant progress.
If you're really confident in EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE and making progress, you should be able to name a number of significant breakthroughs that occurred during the last 90 days, and they should be objective and observable. Circle each one and rate them from 1-10. Some examples of specific results include: Fulfilling work or business projects you completed.
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive shift in your finances (Where are you now vs. 90 days ago? Did
your income go up? Did your debt go down? Do you have more money or
assets? Fewer liabilities? Did you make some intelligent investments?)
.1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive change in your relationships (What evidence is there that you
deepened your current relationships? Broke off an unhealthy relationship?
Added empowering new friends to your social circle?
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive change in your health status (Did you lose fat? Did you gain
strength, flexibility, or endurance? Did you adopt some positive new health
habits?)
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
Eventually those things will begin to erode your Self-Confidence.
Seriously now... isn't it much better to admit that we need to handle our Self-Confidence issues as opposed to denying we have them? Lots of people succumb to denial. They act like they're growing, evolving and successful, when in reality nothing is significantly changing for them. So how can you determine if you can use some help in building your Self-Confidence? There is a simple formula that will measure your current Level of Self-Confidence with 100% accuracy.
The first step is to look at your life and see if there is any evidence that you're significantly better off now vs. 90 days ago. What amazing results have you accomplished during that time? The second step is to give each result a number from 1-10. 1 would be nothing has changed, and 10 would be significant progress.
If you're really confident in EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE and making progress, you should be able to name a number of significant breakthroughs that occurred during the last 90 days, and they should be objective and observable. Circle each one and rate them from 1-10. Some examples of specific results include: Fulfilling work or business projects you completed.
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive shift in your finances (Where are you now vs. 90 days ago? Did
your income go up? Did your debt go down? Do you have more money or
assets? Fewer liabilities? Did you make some intelligent investments?)
.1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive change in your relationships (What evidence is there that you
deepened your current relationships? Broke off an unhealthy relationship?
Added empowering new friends to your social circle?
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
A positive change in your health status (Did you lose fat? Did you gain
strength, flexibility, or endurance? Did you adopt some positive new health
habits?)
1—2—3—4—5—6—7—8—9—10
What does your recent past and your rating from 1-10 say about your
Current Level of Self Confidence? If there's little or no evidence that
significant change has
Occurred in EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE within the past 90 days, it's safe
to say you're
Stuck and you lack Self-Confidence in those specific areas.
And if you can't see any real measurable progress over the past year,
then you are
REALLY stuck! Looking To The Past To Predict The Future The truth is
that past performance
is the best predictor of future performance. This is not only true for individuals,
but for
teams and companies.
If you want
to know where your current path is taking you -look to your past. That’s the
best way to predict where you’re headed.
Looking to your past is more reliable than looking at your goals and
intentions.
If I want to know where someone is headed, I’ll take a look at they’re
past, especially their recent past, and make a prediction based on that. I am
not interested in hearing about their goals and intentions. I just want to know
what they’ve been up to for the past few months, and that will give me a pretty
good idea of where they’ll be in a year or so.
We may not be able to predict what will happen tomorrow or next week
with much accuracy, but barring an unusual
Chaotic change, our lives tend to be a lot more predictable over longer
periods of
Time than we care to admit.
Consider some of the people in your life —
People you know pretty well. Can you reasonably predict where they’ll be
a year from now? Can you make a decent guess at where they’ll be in terms of
their career, finances, relationships, health, spiritual growth, etc?
I’m not asking you to predict the exact outcome.
I’m simply asking you to paint a general picture of what you expect each
person’s life will look like in a year or so.
My guess is you will be pretty accurate because you can be objective.
Predicting Your Future Sometimes it’s easier to make predictions about other people instead of ourselves.
When we look at other people’s lives, we are much more
objective. It can be pretty tough to look at ourselves
objectively, especially when we don’t like what we see.
No one wants to predict that a year from now, they’ll have lost their
home due to foreclosure, gained 20 pounds of fat, and endured a string of bad
relationships.
Try this: Make some predictions about where you’ll be in a year, but
base your predictions only on hard factual evidence
from the past 90 days of your life. Assume those same patterns will
continue for another 12 months. Where will they lead if you largely repeated
the patterns of the past 90 days for a full 12 months?
Telling Yourself The Truth A huge part of telling yourself the
truth is being able to make honest, objective predictions about where
you’re headed. In order to make
accurate predictions, you cannot use your goals or intentions
as an accurate indicator of where you will be in the future.
Imagine that you’re in a court of law that’s trying to make a ruling
based on the facts of the case. Your goals and intentions for the future are
inadmissible as evidence because they are not hard facts. They’re merely
opinions or speculation
about what may be. Based on the hard facts – your recent past-what do
you think that ruling would be?
In order to make accurate predictions of where you’re headed, you must
look to your recent past and only your recent past.
This may be something you didn’t want to hear, but I am just being
honest with you. When you study and learn from your past, you’ll notice certain
patterns that come up repeatedly that keep you stuck. All of these patterns are
rooted in your lack of Self-Confidence to follow through and make the changes.
One of those patterns is the “start-stop” approach. This is when someone
gets a strong desire to change. They feel a surge of positive emotion and
decide that finally things will be different. They usually believe it too. They
set some new goals and intentions and start taking some actions, but because of
a lack of Self-Confidence their actions are inconsistent. Most of their actions
are one-offs, meaning that they never get integrated as permanent habits. For
example they get highly motivated to change-usually after reading a book or
taking a personal development program -then they will get started, but that’s
usually as far as it goes.
Eventually the excitement over the new direction and information
fizzles, and the person stops
changing and gets sucked back into their old under-confident patterns
from the past. No real lasting change occurs. Now don’t get me wrong.
Goals and intentions are
powerful. Having clarity about what you’re going to do next is important.
But deciding what you want is only the first step. And if that’s all you do,
then I predict you will have some occasional success, but for the most part
your life will be a repeated pattern of “start-stop” mediocrity. I’ve seen that
pattern play out enough times across enough people’s lives that I consider such
results fairly predictable.
The Root Cause The root cause of our “start-stop” behavior is the inability
to feel confident enough to follow through and make the necessary changes until
we get the results we desire. Not if, but until.
Most people do not have enough Self-Confidence to create the life they
deserve.
This saddens me, which is why I've made it my personal mission to do
something about it.
I would love to walk down the street and see that spark of happiness and
confidence in everyone's eyes. But today what I see most often are people with
low levels of Self-Confidence who are unhappy
And struggling to express their True Self.
Lack of fulfilling work (not doing what they love, not contributing)
Financial struggle (too much debt, not earning enough money, not
experiencing financial flow)
Lack of loving relationships (unsupportive, disempowering, apathetic or
negative social circle; no one to love and be loved by) Poor health (lack of
energy and vitality, feeling tired, struggling with health issues.)
These are the most common killers of long term happiness. But here is
something important for you to know. All of these problems are really just
symptoms. The real issues go much deeper. Most
personal development books and programs are focused fixing these
symptoms. But they never identify and treat the root cause that gives rise to
those symptoms. Consequently, even people who study personal growth for most of
their life never seem to be able to "lock on" to success. It always
eludes them.
But some people succeed in a really big way with: ·Deeply fulfilling work that
expresses their creativity and contributes to the world · A wonderful flow of financial
abundance that makes it easy to afford whatever they wish to experience.· Loving and supportive relationships
with people who genuinely care about them. · High levels of
energy, vitality, and excitement --mentally, physically, and emotionally
This is because they have Unstoppable Self-Confidence. Do you think that
knowing how to build Unstoppable Self-Confidence to achieve these results might
serve you?
When you have Unstoppable Self Confidence you can tackle --and
defeat--the three demons that keep you stuck.
Denial, Disconnection, Inaction, Let's briefly discuss each one.
Denial-First, in order to get unstuck be honest enough to admit the
truth of your current situation. If you're stuck, don't pretend that you' remaking
progress. Denial cannot help you change your situation.
It's imperative that you start being honest with yourself. Look to the
past 90 days, as well as look at your past patterns and see what sort of
progress you're REALLY making. Stop kidding yourself that things will somehow
magically get better in the future.
Your future is actually quite predictable. If you keep doing the same
things over and over again, and they haven't worked in the past, it's safe to
say you won't make much progress in the future. Giving up denial and
identifying and eliminating the thought patterns, beliefs and behaviours that
are eroding your Self-Confidence is an essential part of permanent and lasting
change.
Disconnection-The second confidence killer is disconnection. This is
when you lose sight of your passion, dreams, and desires. Disconnection leads
to hopelessness. If you want to have a successful and happy life it's your
responsibility to stay plugged in to your desires. Don't let them die.
What do you want to experience? Think about your desires often. Make
connecting with your desires a central part of your life, but you can only do
this if you feel Self-Confident.
When people are plugged in to their desires, their eyes are sparkling
and full of life.
Take a moment to go look at yourself in a mirror. Do you see that
sparkle in your eyes? Does your image reflect happiness, fulfillment and a
feeling of Self-Confidence? Or is it reflecting disappointment, regret and a
lack of Self-
Confidence? You can break the feeling of disconnection once and for all
by creating Unstoppable Self -Confidence.
Inaction–Inaction is the third confidence killer. This can take the form
of procrastination, indecisiveness and low levels of self-discipline. The lack
of inspired action consists of the
inability to maintain momentum in the face of external pressures and follow
through on your goals
and plans. The proven antidote for inaction is to deliberately train
yourself to become more
confident in your ability to succeed. Realize that the denial,
disconnection or the inability to take inspired action is not a permanent
condition. Stop running from your fears as if they are permanent
and start seeing them as temporary roadblocks that you can bust through
with Unstoppable Self Confidence.
You can train yourself to make the necessary changes. Not actively
training yourself to increase your Self-Confidence is one of the worst personal
growth mistakes you can ever make.
I've seen people have some incredible breakthroughs when they finally
said to themselves -"
I have had enough of not feeling confident" They got fed up. They
recognized that their inability to break their patterns was rooted in their
lack of Self-Confidence and they committed themselves to creating Unstoppable
Self-Confidence. The key lesson here is that if we want to grow, then
ultimately we must stop succumbing to denial, disconnection, and our inability
to take inspired action because of our lack of Self-Confidence.
You Can Reinvent Yourself At every moment, you get to choose your
identity. You get to appoint yourself and anoint yourself to be the person you
want to be.
Truly caring for your success...
